DIVORCE OR DEATH? – AN OSINACHIOUS DILEMMA
BY AMEH ENINIBAJO (Phd Reading)
For the past few days, whether on Earth, or Mars or Jupiter – wherever you live – the news that pop up on your phone’s screen or flood your Facebook wall have been more about the unfortunate and untimely death of Sister Osinachi Nwachukwu, a popular gospel singer who was allegedly mercilessly murdered by her own husband. You can hardly look away from this tragedy even when you consciously wanted to. It just sticks to your chest.
Of late, given the security situation of the country, I don’t look at tragic news twice and I don’t click on them for personal reasons. Doing this, it has helped my blood pressure stay normal, giving me a peace of mind which is okay for my health. This I feel is better than dwelling in the labyrinth of bad news, digesting and regurgitating them until you earn yourself a nameless disease which a dose of its prescribed drugs you cannot afford; then native doctor becomes your available option. God forbid!
Imagine reading about 5-year old Hanifa Abubakar who was kidnapped and killed by her own school teacher. Or how may I chew this- – not to talk of swallowing – that an 18 year old Samuel Akpobome killed his mother and slept with the corpse for money ritual? And I wept when I read that a 12 year old Sylvester Oromoni Jr was killed by his own mates in school for not suscribing to joining their cult group. These are kind of news that make your blood congeal and there are many of them popping up. What would you do? Read something else. But then you cannot run away from Osinachi’s.
Many articles have been posted on Osinachi Nwachukwu’s death and more are still coming obviously but all these articles, including this.one, are classified as the the aftermath. Some authors have blamed the deceased for not escaping for her life when she saw the red flags, some have blamed her church for allegedly tying her down in a toxic marriage that eventually led to her death while some other have termed her action heroic for keeping her vow to the end and defending her marriage with her life. But then, all is still the aftermath.
Osinachi is gone though, there are undoubtedly many women who are currently facing similar case she faced, and are in serious dilemma, not knowing which way is right – should they leave or should they remain? Of course, there are valuable lessons to learn from the event of the dead to help the living. But before I share my own opinion on this, I will like to highlight ten (10) reasons that make women opt to stay in marriage even when the red flags are glaring:
1- Hope or faith that things will change for better
2- Fear of societal shame or stigmatization
3- For the love of the kids
4- Counsel from religious Leaders
5 – Fear of loss of religious position/ status
6 – Threat from the husband (I will kill you if you make attempt to divorce me)
7 – Doctrinal belief (divorce is not an option)
8 – Fear of the economic consequences ( how will I survive or earn a living?)
9 – Assumption that it will not get to death
10 – Diabolical effect.
No-one precisely can tell the actual factors that played out that made Osinachi stay put till her doomsday except those who were very close to her, however, no-one would be happy that she died in the manner in which she did. And if there are ways to prevent such occurrence, why not?
The Bible says “wisdom is profitable to direct” …. ” and my people perish for lack of knowledge.” There’s no point beating about the bush; God will not be happy seeing you get murdered by your husband trying to keep a marriage vow or to maintain your church or societal status. And if you feel you can’t leave the kids temporarily, when you die you would leave them behind permanently. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
If your marriage is toxic and life threatening, please, flee. Whether temporal separation or permanent divorce, take an action that will prevent your untimely death. You will go to heaven if your faith is intact.
May the soul of Sister Osinachi rest in peace!
~ AMEHSON